Seven Years In: What I've Learned So Far...

I keep coming back to Shenell.

In 2019, our dear friend Shenell Malloy was diagnosed with a deadly brain tumor. She was given 6 months to live, but in true Shenell spirit, she went into remission and had the blessing of five good years. Years she used with intention. She danced often. She prioritized her health. She stopped drinking. She soaked up time with her kids in a way that felt deliberate and full.

We lost her in 2024.

Her absence still catches me off guard. In quiet moments, in ordinary ones. Losing Shenell was a reminder of something I think about often now: time is not guaranteed, and neither is the energy we get to spend building the things we love.

Shenell Malloy, one of the most inspiring women I had the honor to know.

Losing Shenell made things feel very simple for me in a way they hadn’t before. I kept thinking about the nights she spent fighting for more time. The reality that she might not see her children grow up. The way that knowledge sat with her, quietly, every day.

Even while carrying that, she dedicated her last years to building DO Cancer. To helping other people who had just received the same diagnosis. She showed up for others while living inside uncertainty herself. Watching that changed me. It made me look closely at where I was putting my own energy, and what I was willing to keep showing up for, even when it was hard.

From the very beginning, Saint Jane has been committed to supporting women and organizations doing real, often unseen work. Groups like Shenell’s DO Cancer, Lipstick Angels, and the Rebecca Bender Initiative. We didn’t lead with it. We didn’t build campaigns around it. We just did it.

There were days when I wired donations monthly, knowing that even when the business felt fragile, that commitment never was. Supporting women navigating illness, recovery, trauma, or rebuilding their lives felt inseparable from why this brand existed at all.

We did our donating under the radar for a long time. If sharing that part of the story more openly now encourages other brands to do the same, that feels like something worth standing behind.

In this next chapter, we’re going to do a better job of telling that part of the story. Healing has always been central to Saint Jane. Not just in the skincare we make, but in the values we stand behind.

When you start a brand, no one tells you that passion isn’t just what gets you started. It’s what carries you through the hardest points. The ones where showing up is a choice you make over and over again, even when you’re tired, even when other parts of life, like motherhood, marriage, family drama, house remodels, raising teenagers, are asking more of you.

At the same time, my daughters are growing up.

I’d love to wrap them in bubble wrap to keep them safe, always.

This part of motherhood doesn’t get talked about enough. We don’t have little kids anymore. We have teenagers and a tween. Smart, funny, independent girls who want freedom and are starting to explore it. Girls who want to go to parties, who are curious about the world, and who are very sure they know what they’re doing.

Some days, my instinct is to protect them from everything. Other days, I remind myself that my real job is to help them learn how to make good choices when I’m not standing right there.

I think about my own teenage years more than I expected. I was a straight A student, but I was also regularly in detention for chewing gum, being out of uniform, loving the fun, loving the energy, and loving being the one who kept things lively. I don’t regret that version of myself. My teens and twenties were joyful. I loved wine, cocktails, and the celebratory feeling of a night out. My husband and I don’t drink anymore, and with a little distance, alcohol looks different to me now, but I don’t pretend those years weren’t fun or formative.

Those were the days, Summer 2002

What I’m learning is how to hold it all with a lighter grip. Wanting my girls to have joy and confidence. Wanting them to stay grounded in the things they care about, like athletics, growth, and purpose. Wanting to guide them without hovering.

I’m a Cancer. I like cozy. I love being home. I feel best when everyone I love is on the couch together watching a movie. I am deeply attached to rituals that make life feel safe and warm. I am obsessed with Christmas. With the feeling of togetherness. With having everyone under one roof.

That sense of home matters to me because it took us a while to be settled after we left Marin for So Cal. Five years ago, we moved from our family house in Ross to Manhattan Beach. I loved that house. I still miss it. We definitely thought finding a new home would be easy. It wasn’t. It took nine months to find a place, then we had to tear it down. Eighteen months of planning. More than two years of building. We finally moved in last April.

Just a “light cosmetic remodel” that turned into a full tear down. Home Sweet Home.

And now, for the first time in a long time, I have calm, quiet and space. Time to sit with questions I had been postponing.

Questions about Saint Jane….about what comes next. About friendships I want to nurture more intentionally. Saint Jane turned seven this year.

Seven years is long enough for the adrenaline to wear off. Long enough to see patterns clearly. Long enough to recognize what has worked and what was meant to be left behind.

In 2023, I seriously considered selling the business. Not because I didn’t believe in it. But because I wondered if someone else might be better suited to take it further. I had built the foundation. Maybe it was time for the brand to soar with someone who loved scaling more than I do. An acquisition wasn’t an option for us at that time. And in a strange way, that forced me back into a redefined relationship with the brand itself. I stopped imagining an exit and started imagining our next chapter.

A few weeks ago, my sixteen year old helped me at a Christmas sip + shop. I was floating around the room when I overheard her telling customers that she swears by Luxury Beauty Serum when her skin is breaking out. She said it casually. Like it was obvious. When it’s your brand, it’s not always this obvious.

Holiday Sip + Shop in December, loved having Sofia as my amazing Sales Assistant

I’ve heard customers say that for years. But hearing my daughter say it made everything feel personal again. I realized I had built something that didn’t just exist on shelves. I had built something that supported my own kids.

Saint Jane is evolving. The brand is becoming more elevated, more intentional…more aligned with the healing mission that’s been there from the beginning. We’re refreshing packaging. Launching a new website. Telling our story more clearly. Staying self funded and deeply focused on financial health.

But more than anything, this chapter is about centering myself as a founder, mom, friend.

This brand matters deeply to me. And I know I’m willing to keep showing up for it. Seven years in, Saint Jane is still here because I stayed. And for now, that feels like exactly where I’m meant to be.

It’s funny because we started 2026 by getting stuck in an elevator in Hawaii for 45 minutes with strangers from Minnesota. We made friends with them immediately and the experience was this funny reminder that you’re never totally in charge of your life or the year ahead. Sometimes you just have to hope the elevator gets you to the floor you need. It’s a little hope, a little faith and a little roller coaster. Here we go!